You're not alone when it feels like the end
by MissC.Sommers
Summary: So, what about if all his certainties are falling apart? Can he survive without her? Or he's just too lost? First story about DD. Deep love for the Amanda/Marc pairing, one of the best thing in the show. Then... Enjoy.


**Author's note: **I had this story in my mind. It takes place approximately four years after the finale. Hope you like it. Rated T for dark themes.

Deep love for Dreamgirls Dancers.

"After all this time?" "Always".

**Disclaimer:** Don't own UB or any characters affiliated with its production. Any real living people mentioned in this fic are portrayed with creative licence.

_You're not alone_

_Together we stand_

_I'll be by your side, _

_You know I'll take your hand_

_When it gets cold, _

_And it feels like the end_

###

He simply didn't know what to say, or what to think.

He didn't even know what to feel.

Just that big emptiness, those silent tears.

###

Two days before Amanda was smiling sitting on a circular desk.

"Marc, can we talk about this?"

"We did."

"And?"

"I said I'm happy."

"You haven't the face of someone properly happy."

"Mandy… Milan, seriously?"

"It's a great opportunity.

"I won't see you anymore."

"Don't act like an idiot you pansy. We perfectly can…"

"I didn't say I'm not happy, it's just… I'm gonna miss you so much."

"Don't you think for me it's the same?"

Amanda wiped a tear and looked at him.

"You can't even imagine…"

"Mandy… Sorry, I…"

"I'm so scared, OK? I thought about it a million of times. If I go it will be like losing the best part of me."

"You won't be alone, I will."

"Marc, you have Troy, and somehow Wilhelmina too."

"Yeah, but I need you in any case."

"Me too…"

"I'm happy, Mandy, I really am… I just need time."

He had left her alone.

For the first time completely alone.

###

Time, funny.

He asked her for time.

The one thing she couldn't give him.

###

_There's nothing you can say_

_Nothing you can do_

_There's no other way_

_When it comes to the truth_

###

Time hadn't change Betty.

Maybe she was changed physically, but when she reached him with her tearful face he had just seen the little girl wearing the most embarrassing poncho of the world.

"Marc, I'm so sorry…"

"Shut up, Betty. I really don't care now."

"Marc, I was her friend too."

"You were her friend. Who's been with her _every single day_? _I was_ there, I have the right to suffer more."

"I don't doubt it, but Marc… You're so angry now. I'm suffering too, you can't think of being the only one who loved her."

"I'm not angry! I'm… I'm furious, I can't even imagine a life…"

He didn't even notice that he had hugged Betty.

"God, Betty… I feel so guilty…"

"Guilty? Why?"

"I haven't even apologized…"

###

_So far away_

_I wish you were here_

_Before it's too late_

_This could all disappear_

###

Two hours later Claire Meade had reached him in his office.

"Marc?"

Marc seemed a little surprised to see Claire there.

"Yes?"

He had immediately seen something was wrong.

"I… I don't know what to say, but…"

"Is something wrong?"

"It's… It's about Amanda."

"Oh, yeah. She told me about Milan."

"It's not about that… Oh God Marc…"

"What? Damn it, what happened?"

"She… She's dead, Marc."

Marc stared at Claire and blinked.

"What?"

"There was an accident…"

"No… No, that's not true…"

"Marc…"

"Please tell me that's not true!"

He was shouting but he didn't care.

###

_There's nothing you could say_

_Nothing you could do_

_There's no other way_

_When it comes to the truth_

###

"Maybe it's hard to believe Betty, but in that moment I was so angry. I mean, I didn't apologize… I hadn't even the chance to say goodbye… She was married, she had a kid… She was gonna live in Milan. It's so, so unfair…"

"I know. You just feel so powerless."

"It's not just that… I…"

Then he suddenly remembered.

"I've lost the best part of me."

They remained silent for a while looking at each other.

"Listen Betty, I'm sorry for…"

"It's OK, don't worry. I understand. But… Think about Tyler, too. Think about her daughter, she doesn't even know her mother is dead. Everyone in this room is sad… Marc, where are you going?"

"I need to be with her."

###

_Before the door's closed_

_And it comes to an end_

_With you by my side_

_I will fight and defend_

_I will fight and defend_

###

Claire hugged her son tightly.

"What's God happening to this family?"

"I don't know Mum… I…"

"I know…"

"It's just… You always think you have more time with the one you love. None thinks what a privilege is getting old together."

"What are you gonna do with Fey?"

She smiled thinking about how much she was angry when Amanda had chosen that name.

"She's our daughter, Mum… She looks so much like her…"

"God, Tyler…"

Then Daniel approached and Claire let out a moan.

"Dear!"

###

Marc folded his hands and smiled sadly.

"In this moment I really hate you. You could survive a little more, uhm?"

Then he started to feel the tears.

"Damn you! I feel so guilty now… I've been awful with Betty… She loves… She loved you much too…"

Now he was totally crying.

"God I'm so mad Mandy… It's not just for me… It's not just for Betty… Tyler, Fey…"

Marc tried to dry the tears but he just couldn't.

"You were right. I've lost the best part of me."

He remained silent for a while.

"When I knew it… God, I needed to be angry… And I am still now but…"

She was so pale.

So unnaturally pale.

"God Mandy, how could you do that to me? How?"

He felt like a stupid child.

"Now I always, always think about that conversation Mandy… It's excruciating… If I had kept you…"

Marc bowed his head, defeated.

"You'd be still alive."

###

"Where is Fey?"

"With Spencer in the other room. He collapsed an hour ago."

"How did it happen? Mom was too agitated and…"

"A car invested her."

"Oh."

"Funny, two years ago you were all there for our wedding."

"Tyler, I perfectly know how you feel…"

"Do you think I'll overcome this?"

"Honestly… I don't really know. I've never really exceeded Molly. But it's different, you had a daughter with her…"

"I see her everywhere. I can still feel her presence… It's like if she were still here. I haven't even said goodbye."

"I know. That's the worst thing."

###

Marc suddenly felt an hand on his shoulder.

"Betty?"

"Are you here yet?"

"It's a funerary vigil, do you remember?"

"Can you tell her something?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye."

###

Then Betty felt Daniel's hand on her shoulder.

"Here yet?"

"We're trying to say goodbye."

"I will too."

Daniel suddenly remembered about Molly.

His heart squeezed in a vice of frost.

He hadn't the chance to say goodbye too.

###

_Hear me when I say_

_Hear me when I say I believe_

_Nothing's gonna change_

_Nothing's gonna change destiny_

###

Claire Meade seemed pensive in her black outfit.

She closed her eyes thinking about Bradford.

Was there a curse against her family or what?

Sure, she wasn't so linked to her, at the beginning.

But she conquered her somehow.

And she was his son's wife, her granddaughter's mother.

Fey was just one year old…

Claire shook her head, frustrated.

"Mum?"

"Oh, honey…"

"The baby is crying, and I don't know what to do…"

"Don't worry, I'll think about it. Now come back to her."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm perfectly sure."

###

Claire picked up Fey holding a sigh.

"You're so beautiful dear. Like your mummy. You totally have her eyes…"

A tear kept sliding down her cheek.

"You're so beautiful Fey."

She had finally accepted that name.

###

_Hear me when I say_

_Hear me when I say I believe_

_Nothing's gonna change_

_Nothing's gonna change destiny_

###

Her wife until death.

He remembered her smile, her eyes.

Those eyes closed forever.

Marc was sleeping with his head on her chest.

He seemed destroyed.

Tyler sat on a chair and whispered a desperate "I know."

###

_Keep holding on  
'cause you know we'll make it through_

_we'll make it through  
just stay strong  
cause you know I'm here for you, _

_I'm here for you_

###

When Claire opened her eyes she expected to see Fey in her arms, but the baby wasn't there. There was just too much light.

"Hello, Claire."

Claire jumped hearing _that _voice.

"Amanda?"

"Haven't you heard my voice before?"

The girl started laughing but it was a very cold and bitter laugh.

"I did, but…"

"Now Claire, listen to me. Help Tyler. Help my daughter."

"I… I will."

"I would not have been the best mother in the world, but… I really, really loved Fey."

"Have we to talk about that name again?"

Amanda laughed, now genuinely.

"I'm gonna miss you Claire."

"I'll miss you too."

When Claire woke up the baby wasn't there for real.

###

Daniel was sleeping on the sofa for a while when he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder. He expected to see her mother or at least Betty and that vision frightened him more than he could ever imagine.

"God Daniel Meade, you're looking at me as if I were a ghost."

"Sorry, but you're exactly a ghost, Amanda."

"It depends by the point of view."

"So… That's totally weird."

"It is."

"Kinda true."

"Daniel, I have just to ask you something. Be next Tyler now. He needs your help, the help of everyone in his family. Can you respect my last wish?"

"Mmh, maybe…"

"Must I remember all the debts you have with me, not to mention that you acted like a pig with me eight years ago and…"

"OK, OK, I was just kidding. I'll respect the wish."

"Thank you."

When he hugged her she whispered.

"Gonna miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

"Daniel, you know what?"

"What?"

"Today Molly was nicer than usual."

Daniel assumed a surprised expression but Amanda was already gone.

###

Betty felt an hand arranging her glasses and suddenly woke up.

She was going to have an heart attack.

"Oh my dear God!"

"Am I so monstrous? Everyone seems to be so afraid."

"Amanda, it's just…"

"No Betty, listen to me. I have no time."

"Time for what?"

"And I am so sorry."

"Sorry? For what?"

"When did we meet the last time?"

"Two years ago at you marriage, but I don't get…"

"Two years ago. A lifetime…"

"Amanda, are you o…"

"I missed you so much. I was so sorry I couldn't say goodbye…"

"I am sorry. I hadn't even seen Fey before… You know, my life was kinda busy."

"I've always read about you. I used to call you _My rising star_."

"Oh Amanda…"

"You know, you're always been my mentor… Oh no, Betty, don't cry…"

"Why? I'm never gonna see you anymore…"

They remained silent for a while looking at each other. They were both desperately crying.

Amanda tightened Betty's hands with a sad smile.

"Promise me you'll never give up."

"I do."

"Promise me that everyone in the world will know your name."

"I'll do my best."

"Promise me you'll be next him."

"Him? Who?"

"My soulmate. My Marc-y-Marc."

"I do."

Amanda disappeared with a last intense look.

###

_Keep holding on  
'cause you know we'll make it through_

_we'll make it through  
just stay strong  
cause you know I'm here for you, _

_I'm here for you_

###

Tyler held Fey to his heart when he saw _her_.

Was that a mirage?

But she seemed so _real_…

"Honey?"

Amanda ran to Tyler and hugged him with all her strength.

"God Amanda… Is it a mirage or what?"

"I'm sorry I wasn't good enough…"

"Enough for what?"

"For all… I mean, I was an awful wife and an awful mother…"

"Are you kidding? I loved you, Fey loved you! She cried so much, I did… Don't say that anymore!"

Amanda shook her head crying quietly.

"When I think I won't see her growing… I won't spend other moments with you…"

"Amanda…"

"Everything we had built is just dust in the wind…"

"How can you think I could ever forget you?"

"You must! You and Fey must forget me…"

"I can't."

"You must!"

"_I can't!_"

They were both shouting, but they didn't care.

"I can't, I can't now and I never will. I loved only you in my life, Amanda. You're the woman I've married, you're my daughter's mother. I assure you I'll never, never forget you."

"Never?"

"Never."

Amanda dried her tears and looked at him with a desperate glance.

"Can I pick her up for the last time?"

When the little Fey was in her mother's arm she opened her eyes and started laughing. Marc was right, Fey had her eyes.

"Darling, mummy has to go for a while… But don't worry, I'll always be with you, just in a different way…"

Other tears kept sliding down her cheeks when she kissed her daughter for one last time.

"I really must go now…"

"Stay a little longer…"

"I can't… I wish I could…"

She felt Tyler's tears too when he kissed her passionately.

A moment later Amanda was vanished in a cloud of light.

Tyler had heard only an evanescent whisper.

"Don't… Forget… Me…"

He answered.

"I never will!"

###

_Hear me when I say_

_When I say I believe_

_Nothing's gonna change_

_Nothing's gonna change_

_Destiny_

###

When Marc felt someone stroking his head he mumbled an annoyed "Oh stop it Betty."

"Good, you don't even recognize me, what a good starting."

Marc crossed his eyes hearing _that _voice.

It couldn't be true.

She was _dead_…

"Mandy?"

"You actually remember my name, it seems."

Her sweet smile hit him bad.

"Of course I do…"

"Good. Then listen to me: stop doing what you're doing."

"What am I doing?"

"You're blaming yourself, you idiot!"

"Is it so wrong? I mean, I acted like a stupid kid…"

"You were angry and afraid and I was too… And I was the selfish one."

"No, that's not true. There's nothing wrong in chasing a dream… I was only very scared, I wasn't really mad at you."

"Good, because I'm not mad at you. Then stop blaming yourself."

"I can't. I always think that if I had stopped you…"

"Marc, hear me when I say nothing changes our destiny. Stop blaming yourself."

"But…"

"What's that?"

"Oh, nothing…"

"Let me decide."

_Sunday, 14 December 2014_

_Everyone in this room probably knew her._

_She wasn't the kind of woman who people not notice._

_But maybe not everyone knows how much emptiness she leaves behind her._

_Amanda Sommers wasn't just a loved wife and a wonderful mother, she was my best friend, and I don't know how to face a life without her._

_We all must be strong now, even if I know we can't._

_She loved us, we loved her, and even if I know it's hard to say goodbye we must._

_She's gone forever, maybe in a better place, but we loved having her here._

_None will ever forget her, her strangeness, her smile._

_She was a special one, any person who didn't see it was and idiot._

_I'm sorry for what I couldn't do Mandy._

_I love you much_

_**Marc**_

"Marc, that's so…"

"So stupid, I know."

"No… So sweet."

"Do you forgive me?"

"No."

Marc lowered his head.

"I understand…"

"Because there's nothing to forgive."

"Are you going to come back sometimes? Will I see you again?"

"Just close your eyes. I'll be there."

"No Mandy, don't leave me alone!"

"Goodbye, Marc… You'll always be in my heart…"

"NO!"

###

_There's nothing you can say_

_Nothing you can do_

_There's no other way_

_When it comes to the truth_

_So_

_Keep holding on_

'_Cause you know I'm here for you_

_I'm here for you_

###

"DON'T GO!"

"Marc, calm down! I'm not going anywhere. I'll just stay if you want, but please tell me you feel OK!"

"Me?"

Was she asking him if _he _was OK?

"Yes, you."

Marc opened wide his eyes and saw her.

She was crying but she was roseate and completely alive.

He didn't understand.

"But you were… And now you are…"

"Marc, you've banged your head really bad."

"I did what?"

"Yes, you've fallen from the circular desk and you've banged your head. Now you're at the hospital. You slept for three days."

"Oh. So today is Monday."

"It is, why?"

"No, nothing…"

She hugged him with all her strength.

"I was so afraid, don't do it anymore!"

"Sure…"

"Betty came back from London with Daniel, they're in the bar now. I'm gonna call them."

"Ehi, wait. You've been there the entire time?"

"Of course I did!"

Marc smiled openly.

"Ehi, Mandy, listen… If you want to go to Milan for me is OK."

"Are you really sure? Because if you want…"

"No, you have to go. I'll always find you in a special place."

"A special place?"

"My heart."

Amanda kissed Marc on his forehead and came out of the room.

Marc was thinking that he was not alone when it felt like the end.

###


End file.
